The Journey to our Baby Girl

Today not only marks the beginning of my birthday week, but also the beginning of “National Infertility Awareness Week”, and I feel compelled to share our journey that lead us to where we are today.

In about 4 ˝ months, we’ll be welcoming our sweet little girl. We are more than excited to meet her and finally hold her in our arms, but we want to hold onto this moment in time as long as possible because of the things we had to do to get here.

In February of 2017, I made my first appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist. I was unsure of my decision, I felt too young to be seeking help to become pregnant, but I knew something was wrong, and my doctor did not feel it necessary to take my concerns seriously. After several different tests, many tubes of blood, and a couple of months later, I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). I don’t know enough about this disorder to discuss it in length, but I do know that it makes it extremely difficult for couples to conceive.

We tried a fertility treatment for a few months with no success. I was starting to feel like a failure as a woman. Biologically speaking, I feel my main purpose is to grow and feed humans and I couldn’t even do that! It really started to take a toll on me. I was becoming an ugly person. One that instead of being happy for a pregnancy announcement, would do everything in my power not to cry in front of them. I hated the person that I was becoming. Thankfully, I had the support of my husband (and wine) to keep my sanity in check.

In October of the same year, we were advised that our next course of action would be to start In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). We did our research and were excited to be able to have some “control” of the situation but became hesitant when we realized that Tricare did not cover ANY of the treatment, and it wasn’t guaranteed that this would even work for us the first time! After plenty of discussions, lots of tears, and endless prayers, we finally realized that this was the path that was meant for us. We bit the bullet and signed our names on the dotted line to begin the process.

A few weeks later I received all my medication. Holy crap, that was a huge reality check! I had three different medications that I would inject in my stomach two times a day for two weeks, a plethora of different pills, and instructions and a schedule that I’m pretty sure I was unqualified to read, let alone follow. I almost decided that this was the wrong choice when I saw the number and size of the needles that I would be using. I dreaded the day that I would have to start the process.

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